Brian Threlkeld: Live! From the Fandom Post Arena! It’s Arguments About Anime: Tournament Edition! First in a thrilling, time-warping 33-episode feature!
Greg Smith: Time travel? Uggh, I hate time travel…
BT: Well, time-altering, to be exact. The arena simply slows down time for the competitors. Though often to the dismay of the spectators. And I do apologize, but those are the requirements of anime tournament arcs, and any anime-accredited arenas hosting them. So, sit back, and—
GBS: Do we really have to do this? Isn’t it kind of…?
BT: Fine, fine. I guess we can’t spend the rest of the year on this one. Let’s head over to the Game Invention Club (pro tem) clubroom instead. (It was going to be weird fitting in the Kill la Kill cosplay, anyway.)
GBS: Good. My goku uniform is still at the dry cleaners. The life fibers in it tried to eat one of the steam press operators.
BT: New start! This first AAA Tournament Edition is for that part of anime that, in other television around the globe, is a quickly disappearing art form: the Opening. Or, as commonly abbreviated in the fandom, the OP. That one to two minute piece of flashy animation and music that…sometimes actually has something to do with the show it’s attached to. In any case, it’s often where most of the budget seems to be.
And if there’s one thing any two fans can’t agree on, it’s what their favorite openings are. So, may as well argue about it.
GBS: Favorites are easy. I’ve got many of them. It’s all too easy for two fans to agree what their favorites are, but it’s much harder to get two fans to agree which one’s favorite is better.
BT: An eternal problem we plan to solve here.
And if any two fans can argue about it—may as well make it three! Joining the fray this time is an old friend who goes back more than a few years with me on various adventures in anime fandom. A trusted anime credit expert, level-headed commentator, and generally enthusiastic fan—well, I don’t know what benefit those things are here, actually. But they’re worth mentioning as a contrast to your usual hosts.
Welcome, Brandon Graves!
Brandon Graves: I am happy to be asked to participate. As a credits enthusiast, if I may humbly deny being an “expert”, openings are worth noting as the place where several of the most important members of the anime production staff are listed. Some credits are an interesting visual element of the opening experience in addition to providing that information. If the credits are not a remarkable element, eager fans may await one of the most ubiquitous of home video extras, the “clean opening”, to see the action unobscured by text. Putting credits aside, I enjoy watching openings in general. They are a part of the complete experience for me and even in a time-strapped marathon I may hesitate to skip the opening, at least watching it once. If it’s an opening I really enjoy, I’m likely to watch it every single time regardless. There are so many to chose from among such enjoyable openings, but I look forward to arguing the merits of a few of them here.
BT: We’re looking forward to having someone else to argue with, as well.
The Game Invention Club (pro tem), among other pursuits like tormenting the poor president of the (Real) Game Invention Club down the hall, is where many of the anime-related drinking games are crafted on the TFP campus. So plenty to drink here. I’m not one for shots, however, and to demonstrate my pedigree in the contest to come, I believe I’ll settle for a dry red wine. Gentlemen?
GBS: Jello shots are disgusting. Therefore, I’ll do twenty of them before we get this thing rolling. Should get me ready for what’s to come.
BT: Jello shots? A dig at the (Real) Game Invention Club president? Shame on you.
Let’s get started. There are five rounds to this tournament, each round featuring a different opening theme: Nonsensical, Wistful, Dramatic, Happy, Thrilling. Our players will each have an opening in each round to champion, defend, sacrifice, or use as a blunt object to beat its competition into submission. Points will be awarded based on how well an opening does. I think. The rulebook here is not very clear on any of this. … This may not even be the right rulebook.
GBS: Do we even need rules? Let’s just throw the best we’ve got at each other.
BT: Yes, we need rules. We’ll need to know what to break.
Round one begins on the next page!
