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Godzilla vs. Kong Review

4 min read
I certainly had no regrets!
Copyright WarnerMedia

What They Say:
Legends collide in “Godzilla vs. Kong” as these mythic adversaries meet in a spectacular battle for the ages, with the fate of the world hanging in the balance. Kong and his protectors undertake a perilous journey to find his true home, and with them is Jia, a young orphaned girl with whom he has formed a unique and powerful bond. But they unexpectedly find themselves in the path of an enraged Godzilla, cutting a swath of destruction across the globe. The epic clash between the two titans–instigated by unseen forces–is only the beginning of the mystery that lies deep within the core of the Earth.

The Review:
Content: (please note that content portions of a review may contain spoilers)
I have rarely seen a movie that makes as little sense as “Godzilla vs. Kong” that is also a fun, fun ride! I debated beginning my review with that sentence because it seems to give me a pass in actually writing something intelligent. The more I thought about it though, people reading this review don’t really want a well-written review any more than they want a well-written movie. They want to see two monsters fighting each other, they want to see a lot of it, and they want to know that they will get what they demand in a fun manner. And though I could sit here and reflect on how much deeper Gareth Edwards take on the famous Japanese lizard was, I also can not deny that there was something deeply satisfying about having my local return to the cinema this year be something so colossally dumb, that I could not help but sit back and smile.

“Godzilla vs. Kong” is a truly stupid movie. I can’t even pretend that I know what it was all about. The human characters (none of which are memorable) talk a bit here and there about how there can only be one alpha male power in the world, and that Godzilla has that power and is threatened by King Kong’s arrival to the states and…I don’t know, I just feel SOOOOOO stupid typing this all out! At one point there is a villainous CEO because there always is one in these movies, and there is a girl who Kong protects because the ape notoriously has a thing for helpless women, but none of this moves me and is all a means to an end. There is only one thing that got me to stop checking my watch and that was seeing the big lizard in an epic fight with the 8th Wonder of the World.

That’s it.

That’s all ANYONE seeing this movie is going to care about! And honestly…there’s nothing wrong with that. Who knows, had I seen this in 2019 I might have moaned and groaned about the stupidity of the affair. I would have wondered how much homeless people could have been fed with the more than $200 million dollar budget. Heck, I might have had other options in theaters from action movies that were better. And true, an audience member will have a much more meaningful experience seeing “Mank,” “The Father,” Minari,” “Judas and the Black Messiah,” or even “Promising Young Woman.” I get that. However, we’re coming off one of the deadliest pandemics in history. Over 500,000 million people have died from an enemy we can’t even see. Its wrecked our lives and destroyed our businesses, and I’m sure I’m not alone when I discuss how toxic Twitter has become.

So I’m coming off this extremely bad year for humanity. I’m finally able to walk to my local IMAX and pay $20 to see this movie while I stuff myself with snacks from the concession stand that my doctor would probably kill me for eating. The lights go down, the picture starts, and all I can think about is how much fun I’m having watching two monsters beat the living shit out of each other. It’s exhilarating, fun, and maybe even a little cathartic for all the pent-up frustration…and no, it doesn’t make a lick of sense. I won’t pretend that it does (and neither should you).

In Summary:
Considering the overall terrible year we’ve had, there’s something immensely satisfying about the existence of “Godzilla vs. Kong,” and I think the time was right for watching a little bit of kaiju monster fighting with the budget to feed five hundred families for a year! I certainly had no regrets!

P.S. For the record, the film is also streaming on HBO Max…but why take all the fun out of the experience that way?!

Grade: C+

Streamed By: HBO Max

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