The sun is shining high in the sky, reflecting off the ocean and making me squint as I head down a concrete walkway by the waterfront. My destination is a nondescript building at the end of the pier, currently occupied by a group called Nereids, a sort of help-for-hire business with whom I’ve managed to arrange an interview. The name is inspired by that of the Greek sea nymphs, and while it seems a fitting choice for a group of girls in the business of assisting people, as their namesakes were of assistance to sailors, I’m told these particular girls aren’t quite as benign as the Nereids of myth. I’ve actually heard a lot of other things during my walk over here, all of which have painted a picture of Nereids and its employees as being willing and able to get things done, but in ways that are anything from questionable to outright dangerous. It should be an interesting interview, to say the least.
I reach what I assume is the Nereids building; there’s no name on the door, though the rooftop sports a large sign curiously declaring ‘Novenber’ for all the world to see, either simply misspelled or referencing something I’m not aware of. It seems to fit, somehow. I open the front door and cautiously poke my head in. The area doesn’t seem dangerous, certainly not in the middle of the day, but this is the rougher side of the city of Kamchatka, so I don’t want to take any chances. The office area I see is rather pedestrian, with an assemblage of simple desks and chairs, and a small waiting area off to the side. The furniture has seen better days, but everything is surprisingly tidy, aside from a large poster that appears to have been put up in haste, and upon closer examination seems to be covering a large, almost person-sized hole in the wall.
As I stand there considering the implications, I’m greeted and invited in by a mustachioed middle-aged man with a hangdog expression. His handshake is limp and slightly damp, and the grin he forces onto his face makes me feel sorry for him immediately. “Welcome to Nereids, your all-around friendly and helpful service provider,” he spits out, polite but hesitant, as if taking any sort of initiative is foreign to him. “I’m the Kamchatka branch manager, Hanaoka. And you are…?”
Part of me is surprised that the self-identified branch manager doesn’t know about my appointment, while another part of me is not surprised at all, given my initial impression of him. I start to introduce myself, but then a young brunette sporting two ponytails appears from around a corner and greets me with a huge smile. “You must be the interviewer we were waiting for. Welcome to Nereids!” she beams at me.
“Uh, thanks,” I offer lamely in reply, trying to reconcile this cheerful and polite girl with the idea I’d built up in my head of what and whom I’d find here. Even the put-upon branch manager fits in more than the girl does, in his own way. “And your name…?”
“I’m Maia. Maia Mizuki.”
“Nice to meet you, Maia.” I pull out a small notepad and flip through the pages. “And your co-workers… uh, let’s see… are they…”
“Not here right now. They’re off doing jobs, but they should be back soon.” She looks distressed, but resigned as well, as she relays this information. Her face is like that of a parent whose life is one of constantly dealing with unruly children that she can’t get away from. “I told them when you were going to be here, but they never listen.”
“That’s no problem,” I say. I glance discreetly at her outfit, which appears to be some sort of bikini. It’s not outrageously skimpy, but it is small, and definitely seems out of place for office clothing. “Were you just out swimming or something?” I ask.
“Huh? Why?”
“Your swimsuit, I mean. If you need to go change, then don’t mind me…”
“Hmmm? These are my work clothes, not a swimsuit.”
“Oh. Huh. That’s unusual.”
“Unusual?” Maia looks genuinely confused. “You think so?”
“Well, uh, I wouldn’t have expected a swimsu… I mean, something like… that. For you to be wearing for work, that is.”
“All the girls wear outfits like this. I know mine isn’t the fanciest, but I don’t think it’s that unusual.”
“It’s just not what you see most people in the city wearing, is what I meant.”
“That’s true, I guess. But it’s normal.”
“I… see.”
“Besides, even if it wasn’t normal, people probably wouldn’t say anything anyway, because they’re usually more concerned about Gloria or Yuu accidentally shooting at them, or crashing into them, or destroying their buildings, or setting off explosives, or…” Maia starts to get that distressed look again, and the small cheerless grin that appears with it as she stares off into space while listing off increasingly destructive occurrences tells me there’s a lot this poor girl puts up with on a daily basis.
Just as I open my mouth to rescue her from her traumatic recollections, the office door opens and what I presume to be the source of those recollections comes charging noisily into the office. Two girls, one lanky, weapon-toting blonde doing a lot of yelling (whom Maia identifies as Gloria) and the other slim, dark-haired and quiet by comparison yet still giving as good as she’s getting (Yuu Park, confirms Maia). Both seem dangerous in their own ways. Both are also scantily clad in outfits that I wouldn’t consider normal streetwear. Yuu’s in particular is questionable, being some remarkable arrangement of strings and tiny patches that seems to defy both logic and decency, but Maia seems to be an honest girl, and if she says it’s normal then I have to believe her.
The argument between Gloria and Yuu is apparently about some criminals they were hired to apprehend. There was a loose plan, and automatic weapons, and a car, and a street full of people, and it sounds like all of it combined to result in massive damage to public property and no results. The two girls, both dirt-covered and scratched up, are blaming it on each other, and based on their argument and Maia’s reaction, this is also normal.
“Hey, you!” Gloria whirls around, noticing me for the first time. “You probably think it’s my fault too, right?!” She grabs me by the collar and slams me up against the wall. I feel I should fear for my life, but for how comical she is.
“I… er… no! Of course not…” I say, balancing on my toes, while holding my hands up in innocence.
“Ha! See that, Yuu! Even this guy agrees with me!” Gloria taunts Yuu, while I grin nervously. “You’re all right, buddy!”
I make the mistake of glancing at Yuu, who glares at me so fiercely I get goosebumps… and then get goosebumps on those goosebumps. Gloria lets me go, but I’m not sure the alternative is better. I suddenly have a strong idea of how that person-sized hole in the wall behind the poorly-hung poster got there, and I’m relieved when Yuu turns her attention back to Gloria.
Maia and Hanaoka, the branch manager, are trying their best to calm the situation when the door opens again, and in come two more girls. I assume the curvy, striking redhead is Rena Honjou, as her calm reaction to the storm in front of her suggests that she’s the person in charge of the other girls (I’m not able to consider the milquetoast Hanaoka as being in charge of anything). The busty, bespectacled, violet-haired girl behind her therefore must be Shizuka Hayama, and I notice with some amusement that her reaction of accustomed dismay to Gloria and Yuu fighting is not dissimilar from Maia’s.
Not to dwell on clothing again, but I can’t help but take notice of Rena and Shizuka’s outfits, which raise even more questions; their tops are fairly reasonable, but their bottoms consist of a small white strip covering just what’s necessary, and with no visible means of support whatsoever. But I remember Maia’s comments and once again adjust my perception of what’s normal here in this environment.
Rena’s broken up the fight, though Shizuka and Maia are still talking Gloria down. Rena turns to me. “So, you’re here for that interview?” she asks. Her tone is friendly, but there’s a hint of scheming behind her smile that makes me cautious.
“Yes, that’s right. Thanks for having me, Miss Honjou.”
“Just call me Rena. First names are fine. We’re not big on formalities here.”
“Rena, then.”
“It looks like you’ve already met Maia. And, unfortunately, Gloria and Yuu.”
“Whaddya mean, ‘unfortunately’?!” shouts Gloria. A quick flinty-eyed glance from Yuu suggests her mental reaction is the same.
“And this is Shizuka,” says Rena, confirming my process-of-elimination guess. “Well, let’s sit down and get started. We’ve got a busy day still ahead, trying to earn some money, and cleaning up messes.” That last, directed at Gloria and Yuu, earns her a sneer from the former and a small eye twitch from the latter.
“Sure,” I say, pulling up a chair, edging closer to Maia and Shizuka and away from Yuu, who’s giving off a deadly coiled-snake aura, and Gloria, whose crossed legs and mud-caked sandals are up on her desk and within kicking distance. Rena takes her place at the head of the desk cluster where I’d expect the branch manager to sit, but I’m not surprised when this particular business’s branch manager retreats quietly to a small side desk separate from the rest.
“So this is for some retrospective sort of article, right?” Rena asks.
“Yes, basically,” I reply. “We’re doing a series of articles we’re calling ‘Ten Years Later.’ It’s a chance to take a look back at some anime titles that first appeared in Japan ten years ago.”
“To revisit and discuss them, is that it?” Shizuka asks.
“Exactly.”
“But wait,” says Maia. “You said ten years, right? I’m confused. We’re not ten years older. So, is this like you’re from the future? Or maybe we’ve time-traveled from the past? But how does that work?”
“Does it matter?” Yuu asks, the first actual words I’ve heard from her since I’ve arrived that haven’t involved Gloria being physically harmed.
“But time travel isn’t real, right? So maybe you’re an alien?” Maia’s becoming really agitated, and I think it’s actually kind of endearing. “No, wait, maybe we were all in comas after an accident like I was, and then we woke up ten years later. But then why don’t I remember that? I don’t want to forget again! If that happens, then… ouch!”
Rena, whom I was watching get more and more irritated with Maia’s rambling, has just hurled a binder full of paperwork at her, hitting her square in the forehead. “That’s enough out of you, amnesia girl. We’re animated characters, remember? That’s how this works. That’s why I can throw heavy things at you to get your attention, and all it does is sting.”
“Or why Gloria and Yuu could almost blow themselves up earlier today, and survive with just a few scrapes,” says Shizuka, who then smiles apologetically when the two aforementioned survivors shoot nasty looks at her from across the desk.
“So, you’re saying we’re… the same?” asks Maia.
“More or less,” I say. “It’s ten years later, but it’s also like you’re still the way you were ten years ago. It’s kind of a, uh, meta thing, I guess, so we can just discuss the show you were in, without worrying about the messy details of whether or not you’re older or younger, what you know or don’t know, when this interview takes place, and so on. Or something like that. I guess.”
I think my explanation is inadequate, but it seems to more or less make sense to Rena and Shizuka. Maia is absorbing the information slowly, and has calmed down. Yuu is completely unreadable. At any rate, it’s good enough, considering the circumstances of this article dictate that they do find it to be perfectly sensible.
“So… you’re… uh… what?” Gloria is still struggling with the idea, though. “Um… so… you’re saying… I’m… still young? And pretty? Yeah! That makes sense! I got it! Hey! I knew I liked this guy!” She laughs and leans over to slap me on the back. Hard. I don’t see the point in correcting her, and I’m glad she reached a happy conclusion instead of an angry one. Maia and Shizuka are tough girls to be able to put up with these mood swings. And her crazy strength too, I think, as I roll my shoulders back painfully, feeling right where there will undoubtedly be a nice black and blue spot between my shoulder blades tomorrow.
“Great, I’m glad everyone’s on board with this,” I say, wincing.
“Of course,” says Rena. “So where do you want to start? Maybe we…”
“It doesn’t make sense to me,” interjects Hanaoka.
“It doesn’t have to,” Rena shoots back, and the branch manager flinches. “Go make us some coffee, or do something else useful, so you’re not wasting our time.”
“Yes, ma’am!” Hanaoka practically screams, before scurrying out of the room.
Rena sighs, though not with anywhere near the level of stress and exasperation that Maia has exhibited thus far. Looking around the group, it seems like this treatment of the branch manager is, yes, just normal here.
“Well, uh, okay. Where to begin,” I say, flipping through my notes. I decide to start with something easy. “So, about those outfits…”
“I knew he’d say something about our clothes!” Gloria shouts, leaping up out of her chair. “What kind of a weirdo… ack!”
Just as fast as she’s up and ready to charge, she’s lying flat out on her desk, unconscious, thanks to a swift neck chop from Yuu.
“Thanks, I think?” I say. I decide that the lack of a response from Yuu is as good as an affirmation.
“I tried to explain to him,” Maia says, looking at Rena.
“It’s fine, Maia,” Rena says. “It’s what our show is probably best known for, isn’t it? Thanks to all the cover art and promotional images, it looks like just a bunch of girls running around with almost no clothes on at all, right?”
“It’s not a fair impression at all,” says Shizuka. “I mean, sure, the outfits are tiny and skintight, and the poses we’re in on some of those covers aren’t very decent.” She blushes slightly, and glances at Yuu. I think of one of the DVD covers, which must have popped into Shizuka’s mind as well, which shows Yuu in mid-kick, clad only in the miniscule strings and patches she’s wearing now, and the low camera angle making the whole image little more than a blatant crotch shot for fanservice’s sake.
“Why are you looking at me?” Yuu asks. “All of us get shown off indecently in the opening sequence. And anyway, you’re the one who’s shown wiggling out of her clothes. Isn’t that more embarrassing than just wearing them?”
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” says Rena, waving her hand in dismissal. “So we wear tiny outfits. Big deal. If it gets people to watch the show, then fine. I just hope they’re not expecting much overt fanservice in the actual content, because that’s not what we’re about.”
“If our show were more recent, we would probably have ended up in a lot of embarrassing positions,” Yuu says.
“Or have been more titillatingly self-conscious about our outfits,” Rena says. “Or have had to deal with a lot of yuri fake-out moments, since I guess that’s what’s supposed to happen when you have a bunch of girls together. I’m not sad about missing out on that stuff.”
“That’s right,” agrees Maia, nodding. “I told you, no one in the show makes a big deal about our clothes, and we’re not accidentally falling on top of each other, and guys aren’t staring at us, or any of that stuff.”
“Like Divergence Eve,” says Shizuka. “We’ve got a lot of substance and a good story, but also some misleading and distracting character designs.”
“Except we’re not stupidly top-heavy like those girls!” Gloria shouts, having recovered from Yuu’s neck chop.
“Top-heavy…” mutters Maia, glancing downward. She places her hands gently on her chest as her shoulders slump depressingly. I think I’ve identified yet another burden of the life of Maia Mizuki.
“So, if your show isn’t about fanservice, then what is it actually about?” I ask Maia, trying to cheer her up. “I believe you’re the main character, right?”
“That’s right,” Maia says, raising her head with a look of determination. “I am the main character, aren’t I? Yes, the show is about me!”
“Yes, that’s right,” Shizuka says, smiling at Maia. “It’s about how you were taking the test to get into the Ocean Academy. You even got the best time on the underwater time trial!”
“Yeah, I did!”
“And you were going to join the Ocean Academy with your friend, Tsukasa!”
“Yeah, I was!”
“And you knew your late grandfather would have been so proud of you!”
“Yeah!”
“But then… oh!” Shizuka stops abruptly, putting her hand to her mouth.
“But then?” I ask.
“Oh, um… then, uh… well, now she’s here with us and doing a great job!” Shizuka says, panicking. “Isn’t that right, girls?”
“Well, something like that,” Rena says while looking at the ceiling.
“Right, Gloria? Yuu?” Shizuka pleads, compelling them with her eyes to agree.
“Uh, sure,” says Yuu.
“Huh? That’s not how it went,” says Gloria. “I remember she fail… argh!”
Another neck chop from Yuu sends Gloria sprawling across the desk.
“Oh. That’s right. I did fail,” Maia says in a gloomy monotone.
“But wait a minute, Maia,” says Shizuka.
“I failed to pass the exam. Tsukasa got in, and I didn’t. And I was counting on being able to live in the dorms, so I didn’t have a backup plan for having to move out of grandfather’s house.” Maia’s looking depressed again, and despite Shizuka’s worried protestations, she’s on a roll. “I couldn’t afford to live in the nice part of town so I had to come over here. And then I couldn’t find a job. And then I was captured by a criminal. And then Rena… Rena shot me!” I glance over at Rena, who just shrugs her shoulders. “And then I was brought here, so they could use me as bait to try and catch another criminal! And I got captured again! And he was going to cut me up into pieces! And then I almost drowned!”
“That sounds… pretty rough,” I say, in what seems like a massive understatement.
“It was terrible!” says Maia, with tears in her eyes.
“But you helped us catch those criminals, Maia,” says Shizuka, clasping Maia’s hands in hers. “And you didn’t drown, because you knew how to restart the engines in that amphibious car and get back to the surface.”
“Shizuka…”
“And now you’re an essential part of Nereids, and we can’t imagine not having you.”
“Shizuka…!” Maia is smiling again.
“Isn’t that right, Rena?” Shizuka looks to Rena for agreement. Maia turns hopefully towards Rena, who just shrugs again. The identical looks of disappointment on Maia’s and Shizuka’s faces are priceless.
“Don’t worry, Maia,” Shizuka says. “Say your incantation like you always do, and cheer up!”
“What incantation?” I ask.
“It’s something my grandfather taught me,” Maia says. “Whenever I’m sad or in trouble, it helps me out.” She closes her eyes and recites solemnly: “The tree planted by the water bears fruit when its time comes. Its leaves will never wither, and it brings prosperity to all.”
“There, I know you’re feeling better now,” Shizuka says.
“Thanks, Shizuka,” Maia says.
“That’s awfully familiar,” I say. “It sounds like a verse from Psalms.”
“From what?” Maia asks.
“Just something from where I’m from,” I say. “I don’t know if you’d know it. I’m not sure if you have any of the movies here that all of your show’s episode titles are punning on either.”
“I don’t know,” says Maia. “We don’t really watch movies.”
“Don’t worry about it. Okay, so, you end up with Nereids,” I continue. “You start doing what, exactly?”
“She started working with us on jobs, solving problems we got hired to fix,” Shizuka says.
“Like what?”
“We started her on the easy stuff,” Rena says. “Finding pets and jewelry, that sort of thing. But also giving her some on-the-job training for more difficult things. We take all kinds of jobs. It’s why I have to deal with having this gearhead, this weapons freak, and this martial-arts nut around.” She points in turn to Shizuka, Gloria, and Yuu. “It’s difficult to take the branch manager seriously when he says it, but our slogan is indeed ‘your all-around friendly and helpful service provider.’ So, if we have to go out and catch dangerous criminals, we will. And if that means we get in harm’s way, that’s what we do.”
“Or use your co-workers as bait,” Maia mutters.
“If that’s what it takes,” says Rena. “You are the newbie, after all.” Maia groans in response. The idea of so willingly putting Maia’s life on the line seems heartless, but Maia seems so comically put out by it, and Rena’s attitude is so casual, that I have to smile.
“Ya gotta take some risks if you want to get that reward,” Gloria declares loudly, lifting her head off the desk. ‘Loud’ is definitely the default volume of Gloria’s indoor voice. “Like that submarine we got.”
“Stole, you mean,” Yuu says.
“Liberated from criminals. Hardly stealing at all,” says Rena.
“Ah, my beloved Yomogi-1!” exclaims Shizuka, starry-eyed.
“It’s just another expense,” says Hanaoka, who has returned with the coffee and is placing cups on the desks.
“That’s true. We’re definitely tight on funds, as always. Maybe we could fire you and have more money for the submarine,” Rena says, causing Hanaoka to look horrified and hold the coffee tray up as if in self-defense.
“But…! That’s…!”
“Then you’d have to explain to your wife how you got fired,” Rena prods, watching the branch manager flinch.
“You…!”
“And your lovely daughter Yukari would be so disappointed. Though, come to think of it, I know she’s already disappointed in you anyway for being such a pushover.”
“Gah…!”
“So I guess we don’t need to worry about the submarine after all,” Rena says, taking a sip of her coffee. Hanaoka nods, defeated, and returns slowly to his desk.
“You got a submarine from criminals?” I ask.
“Yes, those same criminals that kept trying to capture me!” says Maia.
“Succeeded in capturing you,” corrects Rena.
“Multiple times,” adds Yuu.
“Ugh…”
“We keep running into those guys,” Gloria says. “Those three brothers, Wong, Chang and Lee. They get away, or we capture them and they end up free again. They’re like a buncha’ cockroaches! And their sister, May, too!”
“We do seem to run into them a lot,” says Rena.
“But if we didn’t, then I would never have gotten my dearest Yomogi-1!” says Shizuka.
“They named it Agnes, after their mother,” Maia says. “I guess Shizuka’s name is better, but…”
“But nothing! It’s an adorable name!” says Shizuka.
“You’d say they’re like your arch-enemies?” I ask.
“Hardly,” says Rena. “If we had any real arch-enemies, I’d say they were…”
“Wait, Rena,” Yuu interrupts.
“What is it?”
“You shouldn’t give away plot points.”
“And why not?”
“There might be people reading this who haven’t seen our show yet.”
“Yeah, Rena!” Gloria shouts. “Don’t spoil the whole thing for them! Then they won’t watch our show and won’t get to see me in actio… hrgkk!”
Another patented Yuu neck chop. Another forced nap for Gloria.
“Fine,” says Rena. “So, what can we talk about then?”
“Uh, well, there’s that mysterious guy that’s following me around,” suggests Maia.
“Which guy?”
“Oh! You mean Tony Long, the guy with silver hair and sunglasses,” Shizuka says. “The one who’s been following you around since the first episode.”
“Wait, what?” asks Maia, shocked.
“Yeah, he’s been following you from the start of the show,” confirms Yuu.
“That whole time?”
“He’s definitely up to something, and it seems like he knows you,” Rena says.
“Is this a mystery of the show?” I ask.
“One of them,” Rena says. “He’s definitely got something to do with amnesia girl here,” she continues, pointing at Maia. “Then there’s her coma and her grandfather and some time capsule she wants to find and her weird memories about places she’s never been. Not to mention our show’s title. ‘Daphne’ doesn’t refer to a character, you know. It would be so much simpler if I just explained all…”
“Rena!” interrupts Shizuka, making shushing noises.
“Oh, fine. Anyway, that’s the story in a nutshell, then: solving the amazing mystery of Maia while trying to stay in business rounding up thugs for reward money and taking odds jobs in the meantime. I guess you’ll just have to watch our show if you want to know the rest.”
“You make me sound so helpless!” Maia protests. “I do a great job getting out there and chasing down bad guys!”
“And getting captured,” Yuu says.
“Well, sometimes…”
“So, given your daily work, your show would be a good recommendation to fans of action shows?” I ask.
“Hmmm, not exactly,” answers Maia, pondering. “I mean, my story is actually pretty emotional, all the way through. I guess you wouldn’t expect that in a show that comes across like ours does, but it’s actually pretty touching.”
“I can’t argue with that,” says Rena. “It’s easy to tease her about her situation, but we all really do care about her, and want to help her find out everything about what happened to her prior to her coma. I’d say it’s a big part of why I think our show holds up well over time, that there’s some real substance to our story.”
“And the show ends well, too,” Yuu adds. “Probably because we weren’t worried about being stuffed into 13 episodes with no guarantee of a continuation, so we could take our time doing everything comfortably.”
“But it’s also a funny show,” says Shizuka. “That’s another thing we really have going for us: a lot of humor, thanks to silly situations and good comedic timing.”
“Are you saying you all keep screwing up so someone can laugh at us?” asks Rena accusingly.
“Ah, no, that’s not exactly what I meant.”
“So what did you mean?”
“Well… okay, I did mean that, in a way. But it’s another big part of our show. We’re trying to make viewers laugh and have a good time, while also doing a really good job of balancing that with Maia’s drama, and I think we did a better job of that than shows that have come after us which try to do the same thing. And you have to admit, we do have to deal with some really crazy people. Like Wong, Chang and Lee.”
“And that fool Yagi,” mentions Yuu.
“What about him?” Rena asks. “He’s just another cop who’s way out of his depth. And he freaks out whenever you’re around, thanks to that one incident.”
“Yeah, but he’s got the hots for you, Rena!” shouts Gloria, awake again.
“So?”
“Soooo… we should be taking advantage of that, don’t’cha think?”
“We already do. He’s just not that helpful. And I don’t consider him to be much of a man when just a little tease once in a while gets him all hot and bothered.”
“Yeah, you say that, but you know you enjoy spending time with him at dinner and on that boat.”
“Manipulating him for information at dinner, and accidentally trapped with him on a boat,” says Rena.
“Well then, what else,” I say, moving things along, and trying to keep Gloria out of trouble. “How about the staff for your show? They’ve done a good job, haven’t they?”
“I know that our director, Takashi Ikehata, went on to direct Genshiken and Taisho Baseball Girls. Those are really nice shows,” offers Maia.
“And our writer, Seishi Minakami, has written a whole bunch of different things, like A Certain Scientific Railgun, and Occult Academy, and Living for the Day After Tomorrow, and Birdy the Mighty: Decode,” says Shizuka. “Even things like Sugar and Paprika. He’s a real worker, that guy.”
“Our character designer, Kazunori Iwakura, worked on Ai Yori Aoshi, Rune Soldier, and Aria the Scarlet Ammo,” Yuu says. “He was adapting from some original designs by Satoshi Shiki, who also drew a manga prequel of our show. We ended up looking good.”
“And that Kou Otani guy did all our music,” adds Gloria. “He did, what, some shows like Gundam Wing and Shana and You’re Under Arrest and Hakuoki. See? I know stuff too!”
“It’s a shame we didn’t have a higher budget,” laments Rena. “J.C. Staff did a decent enough job of animating us, but it’s not as consistent as I would have liked. At least we tend to end up better-looking onscreen than the supporting cast or background characters do, not that they matter much anyway.”
“What do you mean?!” Hanaoka protests from his lonely desk. “I matter! I should be drawn as well as you girls are! And you shouldn’t say things like that about the animation studio anyway. That’s too mean, isn’t it?”
“What was that?” says Rena, her glance evaporating Hanaoka’s temporary bravado in an instant.
“Er, nothing. Sorry.”
“This is kind of a strange way to get that information into the article, don’t you think?” asks Maia.
“Well, you have to admit, this whole interview situation is pretty strange to begin with,” Shizuka replies. “I don’t think anyone’s going to mind some straightforward info-dumping.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Rena says. “It’s important that we let everyone know that our staff is really talented, and that’s another reason why our show has held up over time, and shouldn’t just be written off.”
“How about your voices? Any comments on those?” I ask.
“Oh, yeah! We got awesome voices!” Gloria shouts. The other girls all look momentarily disgusted at the idea of Gloria talking about… well, talking. I anticipate more violence from Yuu directed at Gloria, but instead she surprises me by picking up the discussion topic.
“Our original Japanese voices are really good,” Yuu starts. “It’s a talented cast we ended up with, even for the supporting characters.”
“Nobody phoned this one in, that’s for sure,” agrees Rena. “Which is important, since it helps with our dramatic moments as well as our…” She pauses, and her eyebrows furrow briefly in disapproval. “Our comedic moments.”
“We also got great treatment on the English side of things,” adds Shizuka. “New Generation Pictures did a great job with our dub. All the English voice actors are perfectly cast, and the performances are spot-on.”
“Yeah! We were licensed smack in the middle of when the best dubs were being made!” Gloria shouts. “Our dub’s better than a lot of newer ones. Those New Gen guys are the best!”
“Wait a second,” says Maia. “We’re talking about voices, right? So then, which voices are we speaking with right now?”
Everyone looks around at each other, then at me.
“Well, uh… whichever ones you’d prefer?” I offer as a lame solution.
The girls all ponder that for a moment.
“Hey, you idiots!” shouts Gloria. “This is all a text interview! Why are you worrying about voices when we’re not talking out loud!”
Everyone’s faces light up in realization and agreement. And more than a bit of surprise that Gloria, of all people, came up with a seemingly sensible answer. Then Maia starts thinking again.
“But, if that’s how it is, then how can Gloria be shouting?”
Nobody has a good answer to that.
“Let’s not get stuck on things we don’t need to worry about,” Rena says. “Anyway, if your readers are interested in us, and want to know about everything the girls wouldn’t let me reveal, they can go buy our show and find out for themselves.”
“Sentai license-rescued it and released it on DVD several years ago, so it’s readily available,” adds Shizuka.
“Too bad some of the good cover art from the original Geneon DVD singles is missing,” Yuu says.
“And you can also still find copies of the single manga volume out there too,” Maia says.
“And the soundtrack!” shouts Gloria.
“Too bad it’s only streaming on The Anime Network and Hulu, and in only one language,” says Hanaoka.
“Quit your grumbling,” says Rena. “I hate to agree with Gloria, but our dub is really good, so it’s fine that anyone wanting to watch us streaming has only the dub as an option.”
“Any way they want to watch us is great,” Maia says, smiling. “Our show was good ten years ago, and it’s just as good today.”
The other girls nod in agreement as Rena stands up from her desk. “Okay everyone, we need to get back to work. Since Gloria and Yuu weren’t able to catch those guys this morning, we’ll all have to get out there and get them. We need that bounty if any of you are going to get paid this month.”
“We might not get paid?!” the other four girls (and Hanaoka) exclaim in unison.
“Look at how enthusiastic they all are,” Rena says to me, smiling. “It just takes the right sort of motivation.”
“I see,” I reply. “Well, thanks to all of you for your time, then. I’ve actually got a lot of good stuff for the article. I really appreciate it.”
I’ve barely finished speaking before the girls, and even Hanaoka, have charged out the door, in dire need of catching criminals that can be converted into paychecks. I smile and shake my head, before closing my notepad and standing. I take a quick look around, and then prepare to ‘depart’ the same way I had discreetly ‘arrived’ in a warehouse in Kamchatka just this morning to avoid prying eyes: via some amazing fourth-wall-breaking but inconsequential teleportation-esque means, of course. Whatever you’d like to envision. Like Quantum Leap, perhaps? Only without the body possession and the “oh boy”?
Anyway. I vanish just as the door opens and Maia comes rushing back in, out of breath. “I’m so sorry! We didn’t mean to be so rude! We really liked talking to you today! And… and… and… huh? Wha?!” She catches the last lingering glimmers of light that mark my exit, and her eyes open wide in disbelief.
“Maybe… he was an alien after all?”