Apparently Mio cannot get out of the duel with Bertille, so it looks like she’s going to have to get serious about training to become a knight. Couldn’t they just play cards?
What They Say:
Episode 2 “Sakura’s Trial–Common Maiden”
The Review:
Content: (please note that content portions of a review may contain spoilers)
I already had to watch one ridiculous show today and now I’m on to another. Frankly, I blame the horse, Sakura, for how lame Walkure Romanze has been so far. Maybe best to put that horse out to pasture. Anyway, it’s pretty predictable what will be happening. Mio won’t be able to get out of the duel with Bertille. Takahiro will be forced to become her squire (I’m not writing begleiter all the time when a perfectly good English word exists). And she will be ready to fight Bertille when the time comes.
But first, of course, we need to have a training montage that is both highly sexual (as Mio takes hold of a lance with her hands for the first time. A real lance, get your minds, and the writing staff’s minds, out of the gutter) and filled with both klutzy antics and panty shots. When Mio goes rampaging through the school carrying the lance and whipping up girls’ skirts with it, we even get play-by-play commentary from Shinonome, the girl who provides commentary at the actual jousts and who apparently has a headset permanently strapped to her head with a microphone that feeds to mysterious speakers placed around campus. She gets her comeuppance for that, however, with one swing of Mio’s errant lance.
What is up with Winford Academy?
Time to introduce another girl, this time the quiet Ruri Hoshino-clone that is necessary to all harems. Her name is Lisa and she fits the stereotype to a T (though she thankfully does look like a high school girl and is physically developed to a degree), including a love of cute things (Takahiro comes across her after following a cat who seems to belong to the girl. He cops a feel out of the bargain. That sounds bad [in terms of writing quality] and it is).
Why am I bothering to watch this show? Well, I think the only reason to watch this show is:
Celia, the Student Council President. Not only is she beautiful, but she’s also a smart, kind and understanding person. She really wants Takahiro to be her squire, but instead of being jealous or angry about his temporary service to Mio, she tells him that she is willing to wait for his answer to her offer and that he should see his task with Mio through to the end. And when splashed with water by accident (okay, it’s no accident from the writers), she does not get mad (though her assistant Reina gets very upset and slaps Takahiro for what is the third? fourth? time this day).
Celia is not the only understanding type. Noel, the hotshot knight who wants Takahiro to become her squire as well is also willing to wait and even more, willing to help train Mio so that the duel with Bertille can be over with and Takahiro can move on to being a squire for someone more serious. Mio is put through Spartan training by Noel with predictably hilarious results (the three take a tumble on the hill and wind up in a position where Takahiro’s hands are in places they shouldn’t be).
Things start to look serious (really? No, not really, but serious in terms of the duel happening) when one of the instructors at the school, James, offers some help, giving Takahiro a set of armor for Mio to use during the duel (she’s not a Knight Curriculum student, so it’s no surprise she doesn’t have her own armor). There is a scene showing the two of them putting her into that armor that is basically taking innuendo to its physical and verbal limits. Apparently, girls’ armor just covers the chest and abdomen, with the normal mini-skirt visible below:
(Note to the reader: in real life, this is A REALLY BAD IDEA. The pelvic region can often be at the receiving end of a poorly aimed lance and even with jousting lances that are meant to break, you are risking serious, even fatal, injury. Seriously, not a good idea). Next episode looks to be the duel.
This is crap. It’s crap with very beautiful women, a couple of them even somewhat decently written up to a single personality dimension. If only their personalities and stories had as many dimensions as their bodies do. But that would be asking for too much. At the moment, the best Walkure Romanze can manage is to be physically perfect but utterly bland cotton candy. It looks very nice, but when you put it on your tongue, you notice that there is no taste. Will it get better? I have my doubts, but I may just have to keep watching to see if it can get worse, and in doing so drive me to stop watching and stop reviewing it.
In Summary:
Mio is put through her paces to prepare for the upcoming duel against Bertille. That’s all the summary you need. Another girl (Lisa) is introduced and the harem gathering around Takahiro is slowly taking shape. Why he should be so lucky as to attract such beautiful women is a mystery that only the writers can explain. And they’re not interested in doing that. If you want plot, story, character, and emotion…go elsewhere. If you want lame sexual innuendo and want to just look at pretty girls, this is your show, though I think it might be better to watch it with the sound off and the subtitles disabled.
Episode Grade: C-
Streamed by: Crunchyroll
Review Equipment:
Apple iMac with 4GB RAM, Mac OS 10.6 Snow Leopard
