The earth’s secret history has been revealed, as have the plans of the God of Lard. Will Milky Holmes be able to stop Lard Impact?
What They Say
It is the end of an era. The God of Lard has descended to Earth, and threatens to cover the entire planet in Lard, creating Lard Ball Earth. And the only ones who can stop him are Milky Holmes?
Content: (please note that content portions of a review may contain spoilers):
Milky Holmes decides to go all in with the “God of Lard” gag, and turns in a fairly stylish, action packed episode that seemingly makes fun of every anime trope in the process. My mistake in the last review was assuming this episode would be Dragonball Z with a bunch of lard jokes: Instead, Milky Holmes is going for Evangelion with lard jokes. It’s much easier to hang an episode on a single ridiculous joke if you’re making it out to be a profound truth about the human condition. And what better way to illustrate the corruption of absolute power than by taking a man with simple desires and giving him the supernatural ability to remake the world in his image?
The episode begins with the God of Lard retelling the history of the world with lard as the central player. “In the beginning, there was lard,” he intones, narrating grainy documentary footage. Pigs crawl from the primordial lard, and evolve from dinosaurs, to mammals, to man. The God of Lard lays down the foundations of how own religion: Man has come from lard, and thus to lard he must return. To this end, he must use the powers of the Legendary Lard, prepared and kept in the home of Nero Wolfe. Assuming that Milky Holmes is no threat, he dynamically poses in front of the moon and tells them his plan: To change the earth into a giant ball of lard.
He floats like Kaoru Nagisa through Wolfe’s home, and we’re shown images of defeated security guards and soldiers, ala End of Evangelion, as the approaches the glowing tube of the Legendary Lard. Nero won’t have her grandfather’s work stolen by anyone but her, so she swoops in at the last moment to snatch the lard. Milky Holmes flees from the powerful deity, running through the Arsene Lupin museum, where bookworm Elly’s reading skills help her to locate a potentially useful artifact.
Meanwhile, Arsene is running berserk in London with the sword of Beowulf, although she remains unsatisfied due to the lack of challenge. Unexpectedly, someone rises against her, in the form of Sonya, formerly of Holmes Academy, who we haven’t seen since the final episode of season 1. She’s angry at Arsene for having forsaken Milky Holmes, and the two duel. Sonya insists that Milky Holmes still needs time and care from Henriette to reach their full potential, and in this the episode hits its only sour note. It’s expected that Milky Holmes will return triumphant for the season’s conclusion, and it would be depressing to see the girls fail completely, but the speech is earnest and without any satirical edge. The takeaway for the season can’t very well be, “You have to be endlessly patient with people who are no good,” but that’s what it seems to be. Arsene gave Milky Holmes chance after chance before finally just giving up, but the message for this episode seems to be that they needed just one more chance.
False note or no, this time Milky Holmes delivers. After considering the bodies of their fallen comrades, and after three or four false starts, their Toys finally return and Milky Holmes is back in full control. After a fight sequence that’s better than it has any right to be, the God of Lard appears to be finally defeated. In classic JRPG style, however, he transforms into a monstrous final form, a giant meat-winged Icarus, complete with sword of shield out of Greek Mythology. Despite Sherlock’s force shields, Nero’s missiles, and Elly throwing giant slabs of concrete, the Lard Icarus seems to be invincible.
Having seen Milky Holmes at full power again, Arsene decides to return. In another awesome feat that ought to be replicated in a more series show, Arsene kicks the earth so hard that she speeds up its rotation, and it able to fly thousands of miles from England to Japan, in order to deliver a powerful blow to Lard Icarus. The force of the blow uncovers the sun, the heat of which melts Icarus’ wings, and the God of Lard is forced down to earth. The Straw Straw that Elly pocketed earlier in the Lupin museum comes in handy here, and the thousands of Toys Pigman absorbed are released. In a final twist, the true God of Lard appears, sealing all of the Toys off safely, and asks Milky Holmes not to hold Pigman’s violence against lard, as lard’s true nature is one of love.
The giant lard moon breaks up, and it begins to snow lard all over the world. We see scenes of recovery and rebuilding, as G4’s competence returns, and the Gentlemen Thief Empire reforms under Arsene’s lead. Even Pigman has some consolation in knowing he’s surrounded by gently falling lard. It is a merry Lardmas indeed.
In Summary
Once again it appears we’ve been trolled by JC Staff, as Mori Artie doesn’t appear at all, and the episode’s main antagonist is the God of Lard. This ridiculous character lets Milky Holmes have fun with tropes of more pretentious anime, and the joke never really has a chance to grow old because of the increasingly ridiculous ways it’s used. We’re also treated to some fairly cool action scenes, as the girls’ toys return, but the next episode preview promises the damedame days aren’t over yet. Will Milky Holmes spend the next episode using their Toys to rebuild their farm? Will Holmes Academy be rebuilt? Are there any final plans for Mori Artie? We’ll find out in the show’s conclusion.
Grade: A
Readers Rating: [ratings]
Streamed By: Nico Nico
Review Equipment: Sony VAIO 17″ HD screen